You don’t have to look far to find someone who blames the media for canceling college football season, and says we’re trying to cancel the NFL season, too. I will be vague here: This distracts me. “Media” is not canceling the football season in college. I’m doing it all myself, thank you very much.
Look, we all got bored and worried during the quarantine. Some people combine enigmas with joining figures. I dismantled a sport. She helped pass the time.
You may be wondering if I was “rooting for the virus”. Well, yesterday. Journalist is a self-respecting journalist not root for a virus that has killed 160,000 Americans? It all falls under the umbrella of being a bad person, right?
Of course, it’s “better” for sports writers to have “sports” to cover. It gives us “work” which helps us to “get paid”. But I’m committed to my passion for being a bad person, and sometimes – I know the irony here – being a bad person means being selfish. If I can work and get paid, my colleagues can work and get paid. This is a beginner for me.
FORDE: As College Football Fragments, what else is it?
As you might guess, having a job in a dream for two decades can make a person bitter and angry. Sure, we have to travel to cool places, get paid to cover events that others pay astronomical prizes to attend, write interesting stories and chat with attractive people, but … where was I again? Yes yes Bitter and angry,
There is no cheer in the press box. But as I have often asked: What if there were no press boxes? What if we all sat at home, with no place to do, nothing to do, no money to do, no touch to watch, no national anthem to despise with every bit of our existence hating freedom , and without marching bands in perfect formation, playing some of the most inspiring music in the world?
Wouldn’t that be great?
It’s a little early to say for sure. I have not yet experienced the joy of an autumn Saturday without college football. Maybe the fresh autumn air, autumn foliage, cider and donuts will ruin it for me. But for now, I feel really good about canceling the sport.
Of course, not everyone is happy with what I have accomplished. As my colleague Ross Dellenger reported, Sen Ben Ben Sasse from Nebraska wrote a letter to the Big Ten presidents asking them not cancel college football season.
I certainly respect Senna Sasse for taking the controversial position in Nebraska to be in favor of college football. This is the kind of courageous leadership America needs. For Sen. Sasse wrote that many college presidents privately agree with him, and he knows this because that is what they say “when the cameras do not roll”, and …
Whoa, whoa, whoa! A Republican senator says people have different private opinions than when the cameras are rolling? Where did he get it on Earth that idea?
Try it nice, senator. Those of us at Team Virus always believed we would triumph. Of course, if just something was taken for everyone, the Browns would win six Super Bowls so far. The demolition of the virus, though certainly a good time, would never cancel college football itself.
So how did I pull this off? I’m sure you would like to know. But a magician does not reveal his tricks, a coach does not share all his shows, and a chef does not share all his recipes, except sometimes, as when, the chef publishes a cookbook or has a TV cooking show or something, but works with me here Anyway: A reporter does not explain how he personally canceled a sport.
I would say college football is built on rivalries. Of course, USC will lose millions of dollars and alienate many fans and recruits with this decision, but as I explained to the USC administration: So will UCLA! Absolutely worth it!
Next thing I knew, Pac-12 canceled that season. The Big Ten had canceled its season.
How do I feel now? Empty, soulless and never better. It even surpasses the joy I feel when no one wins the lottery.
Alas, my work is not over. The Big 12 has just released its new schedule, and the SEC plans to move forward with its season. But I still believe, at the bottom of the place where my heart would be if I had one, that I could take those leagues to cancel their seasons as well. I feel good about my chances, and I think it will not hurt to tell you the true secret of my success.
I just tell people not to wear masks. Works every time.
More NCAA Coverage from SI.com Team Sites:
As the SEC marches forward, LSU prepares for the fall internship
There are no guarantees for Big Ten football in the spring, either
Herm Edwards reacts to Pac-12 by canceling the season